As I stepped out the door this morning, I just knew it and sensed it. For the first time in a really long time, I was able to see my life slowly coming together again, and I liked it. It felt so good to be able to enjoy doing life once again because I have had my fair share of days that took the absolute breath out of me. Days that cut to the core of who I was and everything I believed in. Days I didn’t even want to get out of bed or live, for that much. I have spent more than enough days in the depths of depression, discouragement, and heartbreak. I have struggled with the overwhelming pain of rejection that hurt worse than any physical pain I have ever endured, but yet here I am. I’m still here. I’m no longer in those lowest of low places, but I’m here moving right along with my life. I’m no longer just surviving. I’m thriving, thanks to God!
Even in the midst of where God has brought me to, sometimes my emotions don’t always catch up with where I am. Everything can be going wonderful when all of a sudden, I have one of those thoughts. One of those thoughts that has the ability to throw me over the edge. One of those thoughts to remind me of my past and all I lost. One of those thoughts that makes me wonder what’s wrong with me and why certain things had to happen. Thoughts that make me want to run away and hide and wish that I could wake up from this horrible nightmare. Thoughts with more questions than answers that just go on and on.
What if I stopped here? What if I got stuck here like an old record? What if I never moved beyond all of these debilitating emotions? Then I would be swimming in a sea of hopelessness where the majority of the world around me lives. I would be ready to go down with the sinking ship. I would be ready to just give up because I can’t do this anymore, but that’s not where I’m choosing to land.
Everyday I make a choice about where I’m going to anchor my life. Keep in mind that just because all is well in my relationship with God, that doesn’t keep negative thoughts and emotions from rearing their ugly head. In fact, I’ve come to realize that I’m more of a target when I’m trying to do things the right way. So I have to realize that there isn’t anything wrong with me when this happens. I just need to be aware of all of the things that are going right.
As soon as I begin to experience these bad thoughts and emotions, then I immediately counteract it with the truth that I do know, and that is the truth of God’s Word. I have to go back to what God says about me in The Bible. I must choose to believe that I am His beloved daughter of whom He will never leave or forsake. I am loved, honored, cherished, and adored. I am who He says I am.
Just because I choose to focus on what God says about me doesn’t mean that everything just magically disappears never to be seen again. In fact, I constantly have to keep His truth close to my heart so as to ward off any approaching attacks from the enemy. I choose to stand ammunition ready for battle with His precious truth and promises ready to watch God work.
So, see there? I’m just like you. I deal with life just you have to deal with life. Life hasn’t always been pretty for either of us, but that’s okay. That just means that we can share the struggle together. Then it won’t be so bad because we have each other. I’ll help you up when you’re down, and you can help me up when I’m down. Together we make a great team – limp and all.