Empty, broken, hollow, alone. God, as I approach You, I feel as if I have nothing left to give. Depleted, exhausted from the fight, struggling. How much longer do I have to stay in this place? Nothing feels right or makes sense to me. I can’t even see beyond this day. If only I could see how You are putting this all together, then it would all be so much different. Silence. Utter and complete silence is all that I hear. Why do you have to be so quiet? I need You now more than ever, but yet it feels like You are a million miles away from me. I continue to ask why, but once again – no response. Just make this all go away. It’s too uncomfortable and painful here. Just please stop it all. It seems too much to bear.
No matter how difficult this is. No matter how much I want it to be different. No matter if it seems as if You are nowhere to be found, still yet I continue to press forward even in the times it feels as if I can’t. When all seems lost, I choose to hope in You. I choose to stand upon my foundation of faith that is unshakable and immovable. You haven’t forsaken me. You’re still with me no matter how the enemy tries to tell me different. I know that You are working all things together for my good – even in this desert place. Even in the wilderness, still You are there with me. Even in the midst of the unknown and uncertain, You know exactly what You are doing. I choose to trust You with the last bit of strength within me.
I won’t be in this valley forever. I’m just passing through. Each step that I take is leading me to the other side. I’m crossing over to the victory that is staring me right in the face. I can’t go on how it looks because I choose to look on all of this with eyes of faith. All of this is giving me strength that would happen no other way. I must go through it even though it’s nothing I would choose on my own. You have allowed it, and I am at peace with it. I’m coming through as a conqueror because Your resurrection power lives in me. You’ve not failed me yet, and You won’t stop now. I’m making it through because You are carrying me every step of the way. I don’t even have to be strong because You are being strong for me. I don’t even have to fight the battle because You are doing that for me.
I won’t be defeated. I’m not giving up. There’s too much in front of me to do that. I have Your Word as my truth and promise to see me through my darkest days. I surrender it all to You. Take it all. Take all of me. I am Yours. I choose to rest in You as You continue to do Your perfecting work in me. A reflection of You is all that I desire others to see.
So now I leave this time better than when I started. I long to linger in this place of complete honesty and vulnerability with You, my Abba Father, just a little longer as there is no fear here. No guilt or condemnation for who I really am. Just love. Overwhelming love that sinks down into the depths of my heart and spirit. Love so beautiful and captivating. Your love has captured every part of my heart. I am Yours, and You are mine.